experienced
She had tapped into a condition experienced by many, but talked about by few: maternal ambivalence. Defined as feeling complex, often contradictory emotions around motherhood, ambivalence doesn't stem from a lack of love for a child. Indeed, mothers who identify as ambivalent tend to be clear they would do anything for their kids – so much so that, for many, the worry, stress and fear they feel for their children is part of why they find being a mother so challenging. But they might also feel anger, resentment, apathy, boredom, anxiety, guilt, grief or even hate – emotions most people are not brought up to associate with motherhood, never mind with being a 'good' mother.
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